Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Kyle Reviews the Topeak MTX DXP Rear Panniers and Sunlite Fortress Front Panniers

Hooray! I know what you're asking. "Kyle, why the hell would I want to read a post where you review some esoteric bike component that I'll never ever ever use and if I ever did need to use one I could just as easily strap a garbage bag to my bike with some duct tape? Also you smell bad"

Well first of all, that second sentence isn't a question, and secondly, screw you. If you want to read something interesting go read grouphug.us or something. I do all the time. The VERY first entry, I kid you not

I finally found out the person she cheated on me with was my grandpa, and he is ugly and old. Now, I’m not one to wish ill will on anyone, nor make fun of them but I must admit…. I found a small satisfaction in that bit of information.

Anyways, back to me. Oh wait, you're probably asking something else as well. "What the hell are panniers?" Click this link to learn more. I'll wait.

All set? Sweet. So the choice I was facing was between pulling a trailer, or using panniers. Most people who do this kind of thing choose panniers, although that might be because trailers are a relatively new thing to the touring scene and most people who do cross-country tours are old farts who fear change and teenagers. What are the pros and cons of each?

Panniers

-Pros: Doesn't hold as much stuff. Much much lighter. Doesn't increase rolling resistance because there's no third/fourth tire.
-Cons: Doesn't hold as much stuff. Makes the bike wobbly. Can't be taken off as easily as a trailer

Trailer

-Pros: Pops right off, so when you're done biking for the day you get rid of all the weight. Holds a bunch of stuff. Doesn't affect how the bike handles.
-Cons: Heeeeavy. Increases rolling resistance.

The observant among you may notice I listed "doesn't hold as much stuff" as both a pro and con for panniers. This is because trailers hold SO much stuff it's easy to overpack. Or so I've been told. I doubt my personal packing list would be much different either way. I'm probably going to leave my tools and food at home to make sure I can bring three Frisbee golf Frisbees and 45 pairs of leftover Superbowl 3-D glasses either way. Seriously, I have no business being left alone with a can opener, never mind packing essential survival equipment.

I was originally going to go for a trailer, because I figured it'd simply be easier. I'd heard about the whole "it's heavy and will slow you down" argument but didn't think the difference would be that noticeable. So awhile ago, I tried it for a day. As the old saying goes*, "try it before you buy it."

Now, full disclosure, it was a child trailer, not a touring trailer. So it was heavier than one made for touring, but not THAT much heavier. It had two wheels as well, which a lot of touring trailers don't (some do), but I had made the decision I wanted two wheels because otherwise the trailer is connected to the bike by a fixed joint (instead of a universal joint) so if the trailer tips over, you and the bike tip over too. As the old saying goes, "No. Just...no" **

Anyways, I freaking hated it. Yeah, it was heavy, and even going up the small-ish hills on the way to work I noticed a big slowdown, but the main thing that killed it for me was the extra rolling resistance. 4 tires on the ground are a lot harder to propel than 2 tires. It really does make a big difference. So I decided it was time to give panniers a look.

In the end I chose small ones for the rear, and big ones for the front. This is a bit backwards, as most people prefer to put the big panniers in the back, and small ones in the front. I say "most" people but I really mean "most Americans", as the European style is to put the big panniers in the front. The arguments are that it's bad to put the weight in the rear, because that's also where most of the weight is to start with since you're sitting on the bike, so putting ALL the weight on the rear tire makes spokes snap more often. Others say it's bad to put the weight in the front because that's where you steer, so putting the weight there makes the bike all floaty and squirrely. Still others say "Sit up straight, spit out that gum, and wipe that smirk off your face, mister", but those people were mostly my 5th grade teachers so I feel their advice doesn't apply to this.

In the end, who the hell knows which is right. I certainly don't, I can barely dress myself, never mind comprehend the minutiae of weight placement scenarios on my bike. I chose to go with the "European" style setup because my bike has short chain stays (the part of the frame that goes from the pedals to the rear wheels) so if I had big bags back there, my feet would likely hit the bags. (I have big feet.) Also I used to drive a 1985 Mercury Grand Marquis (May it rest in peace ***) so I'm no stranger to floaty handling.

So, okay, big bags in front, smaller ones in the rear. Maybe I should start actually reviewing the fucking things now. ****

I bought this set for my rear bags, and this set for my front. I'll talk about the rear one first, because I bought that one first.

The Topeak bag was bought because it works with their Explorer rear rack. Several people on Bikeforums.net had good things to say about them. Basically what makes it useful is that is CLIPS into place with this ingenious yellow tab thingie. Most panniers get stuck to a rack with a complicated system of bungee cords and prayer. I'm sure it's easier than it looks, but when I saw a co-workers pannier setup, it looked like a 5-10 minute job to just put the damn things on. Even though I'd passed on a trailer, I still wanted a setup where I could pop off the panniers in a few seconds, leaving my bike unencumbered by them when I go into town to forage for food and internet access. This bag just does that.

It only holds about 1500 cubic inches of stuff, which is SMALL for rear panniers. But it was cheap, is exceptionally well made, and is basically the only show in town for quick-release rear panniers that don't cost hundreds of dollars. It's going to hold my clothes, tools and spare parts, toiletries, electronics, and basically everything other than my tent and sleeping bag.

I really like this bag and think I made the best choice possible. It's small, but that's fine because my feet won't keep hitting it while pedaling. It does the quick release thing better than anything else out there, it's very durable, and it was pretty cheap. One thing: It's not water proof. It's water resistant, to an extent, but it's not made to withstand driving rainstorms. They sell a yellow waterproof covering for it, for like 20 bucks, so I'll just get that.

The Sunlite bags, I didn't know anything about. They were the only thing I could find when I Googled "Front Panniers + Quick Release", although that might be because I had broken the search page a few hours beforehand by searching for "Eric Wolpert's Mom + Midgets" and it found over 3 million hits and crashed Google's servers.

They were kind of expensive (but not Arkel or Ortlieb-level expensive) but I figured in my own very special way that maybe that would mean they were high quality. It turns out that while 99% of the time, such logic is retarded to the core, in this case I came out all right. True, the quick release system is incompatible with the 15 dollar Nashbar front rack I bought, but some quick thinking and a hacksaw solved that little problem (And truly, thinking on your feet and having a hacksaw can solve just about ANY bicycle problem, as well as any problems having to do with dead hookers) and the panniers pop on just fine now.

These puppies ARE water proof, they're coated in the same weird plastic-y stuff that higher quality bags are. They're going to hold my tent and sleeping bag, two fairly light items but they're bulky. So they shouldn't screw with my steering too badly. They had to be water proof because they're less than a foot off the ground (my front rack is a low-rider one), so they'll get their fair share of splashing. They're very big for front panniers, seem to handle water just fine, and feel really well made. I think they're, again, going to be just about perfect for my trip.

So if you find yourself looking to equip yourself for a long distance tour, are really tall, want to use panniers, and are looking for panniers that come off the bike in 10 seconds instead of 10 minutes, these two might be exactly what you're looking for. I heartily recommend both.




* In this case, "the old saying" being "a phrase I just came up with because it rhymes"

** In this case, "the old saying" being "a girl I tried to talk to at the local Safeway last night". Oh God I'm so lonely!!

*** Want to hear a sordid tale of death and betrayal? I bought this car for 100 bucks, AWESOME car. After a week, the alternator light turns on. I check the cables and they're all corroded. So I painstakingly spend 3 hours replacing my battery cables, hook them back up to the battery, and promptly set every piece of electrical equipment in my car on fire. Apparently making sure you connect the negative and positive terminals to the right places is pretty darn important. I know this post has been more self-deprecating than most, but seriously, I'm 100% certain I'm missing no less than 3 chromosones or something.

**** If there's any people reading this who have already done a long-distance tour, or know a lot about bikes, I'm sure you're saying right now "Why didn't you just buy an Ortlieb or Arkel pannier? They have quick release thingies, they're water proof, and made really well" You know why I didn't? They cost THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS APIECE. I refuse to spend 600 dollars on what amount to fancy bags. I won't do it. I just won't. If Isla Fisher goes slumming one day and promises to have sex with me if I buy her a 300 dollar designer handbag I might do it then. Maybe.

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