March Checkup

So there was some stuff I was supposed to have done by the end of March, let's take a look and see how I did.

By the end of March:
- Decide on how to outfit the bike (Components, panniers vs a trailer, blah blah)
- Have relationship with whatever NPO established so I can start collecting
- Performed at least 1 60 mile day trip

I crossed out #1 there, but honestly I have no idea if that's really done or not. I mean they're certainly going to take my (your) money, but I'm not kidding when I say I simply cannot get my point of contact at the Humane Society to talk to me. There was chatter of getting the local news involved possibly, and getting some more exposure for this thing, so maybe I need to try going up the ladder over there or something.

Deciding "how to outfit" the bike happened months ago. I'm using panniers and have the components picked out, and I've selected a carefully tuned, sexy engine to power the whole thing, namely these babies. KA-POW!!! (Probably funnier if you can see me point to my thighs and do a fist pump while I say it)

In terms of actually training though, like doing that 60 mile ride, well... yeah. Look, it's been a ridiculous couple of weeks. I got a promotion at work which necessitated switching my schedule to the unreasonably early hours of 7:45 AM - 4:15 PM for a few weeks, and I've been spending my weekends either flying across the country, going camping on the windswept, haunted summit of Mt Lemmon, or this weekend simply trying to recover from the previous few.

This isn't a problem, however. I still have plenty of time. I've been running simulations through the most powerful computer programs available (Playing Oregon Trail, recording it on video, then watching it in reverse) and as long as I can avoid any bad cases of measles or running out of bacon and coffee, I should be fine.

Speaking of Oregon trail *, have you ever noticed that in the newer editions, where it actually shows a picture of who you're talking to when you're trying to trade, that the Indian dude always tries to screw you? "Sure I've got a spare wagon wheel, that'll be 500 bullets and two Oxen". What the fuck? And half the time I usually trade anyways, out of guilt. It's not his fault, his people traded the state of Colorado for some shiny beads and a couple of Smallpox blankets, so there's obviously some problem with the concept of ownership here.

So although I feel like I can recover, it's tough to give myself a passing grade here. I'm actually getting a tad SLOWER on the bike, and since I haven't had the energy to go shopping for wholesome or even partialsome (holy shit Firefox thinks that's a word!) food, lately I've been eating Cheetos and Pepsi for breakfast, and Double Quarter Pounders from Mickey D's and that's about it. I know, I know, there's a difference between accepting things are going to be a bit less than optimal for awhile and accepting it, and what I did which was turn into the skid and by at least 12 state's guidelines tried to kill myself, but the point is... actually I don't know how to end this sentence gracefully. I ate Cheetos and Pepsi at 8:00 AM every weekday for two weeks. Holy crap. I'm going to end up as a House episode.

Posting was slow here for that time as well, and I'd apologize, but honestly like 3 people read this and there isn't really any way to gussy up "I'm still biking a lot for something that'll happen in 4 months" and make it interesting.

Final Grade : D+ (I'm still cruising around about 100 miles per week, which has gotta be doing SOMETHING, and I'm so full of excuses for the weak performance that I believe at least one of them is decent enough to merit just barely passing)






*Congratulations on actually reading one of my asterisks! As a reward, check this out: If you find yourself feeling nostalgic to play Oregon Trail for the 5 minutes it was actually fun before you got bored of shooting bears, click here.

January Progress Report

Hey so check it out, I've been a busy little bee. My list of stuff to do in January is already done.

By the end of January:

1. Buy a bike
2. Pick an NPO to start talking with about sponsorship
3. Plan a rough budget for the next 10 months
4. Decide how I'm going to pick a route (Whether I use ACA maps, Google Maps, releasing from San Diego a pigeon captured in Boston and following it, etc...)
5. Sell car

Task 1 was done in style way back in the first week of January.

Task 2, you might notice a big shiny new widget on the side of my blog. While I'm doing this trip for fun, I might as well do something useful at the same time. I'll post in more detail about the good cause I'm riding for.

Task 4, I'm WAY ahead of schedule by already having a rough draft of the actual route.

Task 3 is done but I didn't need to take you with me on that particular journey because have the fiscal responsibility of Robert Downey Jr in a Vegas VIP strip club, so I found myself writing things like "Don't buy magic beans from a strange man on the side of the road" and "At the very least burn 1's senselessly instead of 20's you idiot".

Task 5 I completed as well, and came out of the deal 150 bucks richer. Oh sure, you could look at that and say my car must have been a real piece of crap, but it only depreciated 400 dollars in 4 years. How much money has your car gone down in worth, Mr. Car-Manufactured-Sometime-in-the-21st-Century? Yeah that's what I thought.

I plan to go way more widget crazy sometime soon as well, hopefully culminating with some sort of map that shows a big ugly cyclist slowly moving across the US in real-time.