Hey that was fun

I've been hit by cars twice before, and honestly, it doesn't bother me as much as you'd think it would. When push comes to shove, I'm a bike on a street with cars. I mean, yes they're supposed to give me 5 feet, and yes I technically have the same rights as them, but they're supposed to come to complete stops at stop signs and put on their headlights 30 minutes after sunset too. Cars drive the way they do.

Tonight I wasn't actually HIT by a car, but I'm more annoyed this time than the other ones. So I'm biking down Campbell, on the short section where there's no bike path. So I'm more vulnerable than usual. But it's not usually a big deal. I'm cruising along, most of the way home and my head's, well, not where it should be when I'm the road. I tent to drift. Another point against me.

Suddenly I realize I'm hearing a car engine over my headphones. And it's VERY bright ahead of me. I sneak a glance back and see I'm being born down upon by a fucking huge truck. It's literally 5 feet behind me. And christ, the engine is loud.

The lights, sound, and all of it kind of made me panic. I was all the way to the right so I couldn't really bail out. Luckily there was a driveway right in front of me. I turned into going about 20, but didn't exactly make a full turn, I just merged over a bit. Unfortunately, this wasn't a crosswalk or anything, so the curb isn't on the side of the intersecting road, it's just a curb. Maybe 4 inches high.

I then proceeded to do absolutely everything wrong. I freaked out and tensed up (you're supposed to relax so your arms and legs take some of the shock) and I also stood up in the peddles a bit (didn't know you're not supposed to do this, but trust me, you're not)

So I hit the curb. The front wheel jumps up, then the seat immediately follows. The nose of the seat then rams up HARD into...well. I want to be delicate here. It hit me somewhere in between where it would've kicked me in the nuts, or anally violated me as badly as Michael Clark Duncan would. Still a pretty sensitive area.

I fall off (into some dirt luckily) and immediately hop back up, walk over to the idling truck in front of me, rip the driver out of his seat and proceed to administer a beatdown of Old Testament proportions. Nah, just kidding, that would've been nice to do. I writhed around on the ground like a fish for about 20 seconds, then spit up a fair amount of blood. Probably somewhere between Neo in the Matrix where Agent Smith kicks his ass for the first time, and Jubei from Ninja Scroll. As far as I can tell I'm not cut and didn't bite my tongue, so that's a bit worrisome, but I'm also concerned for my poor nether regions.

I did eventually get up (the truck was long gone) and thank goodness I was close to home, so I managed to walk the bike the rest of the way. The front rim is WRECKED, and maybe the fork or stem, but other than that it seems okay. Those can all be replaced easily.

As I got home I coughed up blood a few more times, but less each time. I vaguely considered going to the ER, but it was pretty far away and I don't think it was serious enough to warrant an ambulance. I got the bike home, went in the house, found the last two Percocet from my phantom side pains back in June, and swallowed those about 20 minutes ago.

I'm gonna try to get some sleep and see how I feel in the morning. I almost certainly have to go to the hospital, but I don't want to be all melodramatic and call an ambulance or call someone to come get me. If I still feel like shit in the morning, I'll go. If no one's around, I guess I might call a cab. I don't think anything's seriously wrong. It hurts to breathe, but I hit the ground pretty hard so I probably just had the wind knocked out of me. I stopped coughing up blood about half an hour ago. I still taste it, but my mouth was kind of full of it for awhile so I'll probably taste it for awhile to come.

I certainly can't sit, I'm curled up in bed with my laptop as I write this. It actually doesn't even hurt that much down there, it's more kind of numb and throbbing. Also Percocet is pretty awesome stuff. I guess I should probably start worrying about how to get to work and around for the forseeable future, but I highly doubt anyone's going to question it if I call out of work tomorrow and spend the day figuring all that stuff out.

I swear to God if I ever find the dude that came up behind me I'm going to break his fucking neck.