Oops

Hey so it's been awhile. Frankly, I'm not sure how many more times I could post "Gee whiz biking is hard" or "I sure do think redheads are hot" before it got grating. Besides, while updates here will be an every day type thing while I'm out on the road, you're just not missing much on a day to day basis here. It's been three weeks though, so here, let's take a journey together to discover what has usurped (editor's note: Douchebag "I read books which makes me smart" vocab useage alert!!) my time lately.

#1. If you're wanting to date an immature, catty 23 year old, then by all means do it (if she's cute enough). I mean, who're we kidding, right? We're all human. When the wheels fall off though, shrug your shoulders, make a mental note, and move on quickly. I think this is my roundabout way of saying it's hard to update a blog when you're spending 2-3 hours a day constructing elaborate theories to explain away giant gaping logic holes instead of admitting the chick you're seeing is a pathological liar.

#2. On the opposite end of the fun scale, it's also hard to update a blog when you're spending prime bike-riding weekends in Colorado, getting hammered on absolutely disgusting black licorice liquor. Bet you didn't know that kind of hell even existed, did you? I don't know why I segued from "not fun" into "fun" with drinking malted battery acid as an example, but... I dunno. Hey look here's Brett!



(I'd like to say that was a completely random, out-of-character "That's what she said!" comment at the end, but alas. We still think that's funny and use it as substitute for punctuation.)

#3. New bike hotness!!

Okay so if you'll recall, the beast of burden I chose for this trip is a Trek 7.3fx. A fine bike, a real man's bike. I think I also mentioned I was about to blow 4-5 hundred bucks swapping out various components to make it tour-worthy. It needed drop handlebars, a new drivetrain, a new saddle, blah blah blah.

I was already torn about spending the money to upgrade my current bike, or just getting a different one. My Trek is a great commuter, looks sharp, and let's not forget the awesome black on black color scheme. It matches my dark soul perfectly, like those edgy lyrics the goth kids used to write inside their Steino notebooks in high school before they went home to sniff glue and burn things.

On the other hand, it just wasn't built for this kind of thing. I mean it COULD work. Sure I COULD pay for 3 million dollars worth of plastic surgery to return Debrah Messing to her previous levels of hotness, or I could just throw 20 bucks at her younger, hotter protege Isla Fisher. And never doubt it, Isla Fisher would throw me a bone for 20 dollars. She's currently getting pounded by the same guy who dressed up as an angel and teabagged Eminem, and 69ed a 500 pound Latvian guy. This isn't someone with preposterously high standards.

So where was I? Oh yeah, I ditched the Trek and bought a Surly. BOO YEAH!!! (As always click on the picture for a decent view. Blogger, post-2004 thumbnail technology, have you two met?)







The Surly Long Haul Trucker is the Honda Civic of the Touring world. They're dull, conventional, and about as stylish as one of those giant Australian termite nests, but God damn they're built well, and even if you look like a tool on it, you'll be in good company because like 80% of everyone touring uses one. They are NOT cheap, but I actually got a discount from a local bike shop, in exchange for the humane society pimping them out, so I could kind of sort of afford it. It's hard to explain why they're perfect for touring without getting into horrible topics like "chainstay length" and "fork rake" so you'll just have to take my word for it: I am in way better position now than I was before.

Also, check out the GPS unit attached to my handlebars! It's like being in the glass cockpit of a fighter jet!! I'm still keeping my Trek for the time being, because I'm petrified of the new being stolen, but I'll obvously jettison it to some worthy individual before I leave.

So all that in mind, what's my current situation? We'll divide my end of May report card into bite sized segments I like to call Training, Planning, and Equipment Obtainment.

Training: F

There's no other grade I can reasonably give myself now. I've upped my weekly mileage from 100 miles per week to about 120-30, but that's still not really the point. Even 100 miles per week would be fine, IF I was knocking out the occasional 50-60 mile ride as part of it. Sadly I just haven't had a day lately where I was like "I've got 6-8 hours to kill, I might as well spend them on my bike!" I think I could do it without a problem, but I just can't be sure. There's a big difference between spending an hour in the saddle straight, and spending 6. It's similar to the difference between Eric Wolpert's penis size, and that of a normal human being. An ignorant girl with Eric might think he's all right, but as soon as anyone bigger than Vern Troyer comes along she's gonna be worried they'll shatter her spine with it.

My analogies are definitely getting worse. :(

Planning: B-

So far so good here. I've got places to stay lined up in Tempe, Fort Collins, New York City, and Boston, if I can find one place in Missouri or Illinois somewhere I think I'll be golden. My route's all firmly mapped and I'm starting to peruse Garmin's City Navigator 2010 maps to pinpoint camps, cafes, and other essentials along the way. Somehow, someway, my budget is still holding up as well. I still need to find a place to live for when I get back, and sell the remainder of my worldly possesions, but most of the big stuff has been taken care of.

Equipment: A-

I'm doing really well here. I'm basically done. A few eagle eyed readers pointed out my list of stuff to pack was more complete than the picture of it, and using a small tupperware container to stand in for "tool kit comprehensive enough to fix any bike problem that is the size of a very small paperback book" is easier than actually making said tool kit.

However, there's really not much I need now. There's a few random one-off things I still need, like 5mm socket cap bolts, bailing wire, and spare cyclocomputer batteries, but I daresay every major, difficult purchase has been made.